The decision to close a chapter and begin a new one was sitting well with us.
I was feeling more confident in my decision to stay home. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was because since I was 15 I had worked and worked and worked. I felt like people had to work. Yah, duh, people have to work to make money but what I thought was people had to work, they had to work hard, they had to be busy working. You could dream of working less or doing what you loved but ultimately you just are busy making a living. Gosh, why did it take me so long to realize that doesn't sit right with me. In actuality, it's funny because when you decide to stay home with your kiddos you're now literally never off! Different story- different day.
BOOM- Life knocking at my door.
I am a relatively healthy person and all my pregnancies had been beautiful! My doctors would always tell me how I was such a great example of a healthy pregnancy! Suddenly, I was reacting to some chemicals at the pool. I have been at the pool my entire life! There are many more details here that could take a whole different turn but for the relevance of this story I'll leave them out. It was like I became allergic to working. I tried to push through because I only had four more months but the more I resisted the more I was reacting.
Several other synchronicities happened in that time frame that collectively moved my leaving from 4 months to 2 weeks. I was done just before New Years 2014. We rang in the new year with a whole new outlook on life. It had been a step by step unseen happening of events that collectively got us "here" and now we were really picking up momentum. Honestly, I can't remember how the 3 months before Baby 3.0 went but I can tell you they were the gestation phase of what was to come.
I worked on healing my health and opening my eyes to the "hidden" truths of the universe. I invited Adam to learn with me by telling him what I was discovering. He worked hard, he was getting exhausted, and my heart was breaking seeing him hold this dream so high but not making strides towards it. Not because he didn't want to but he just didn't know how to do it.
The weeks slowed down as the "due" date for Baby approached, arrived, and went. Finally, one week after expected- a beautiful, HEALTHY, baby boy *Surprise* snuggled in our arms and made us a family of 5. Life was good and that was the last kick we needed. Time to make a move. Like a literal move.
Here's where we became the co-creators of our life.
On May 19th, after a particularly long week, we sat together on our *new* tiny couch with our *new* sleeping baby, big bro and big sis were asleep in their beds. I had just, with the help of my best friend, "completed" the redecorating of our house. I hung the last picture that day. We sat close, we snuggled, we went over our Bagley dream and the life we wanted. We always did this. You see, we really are that IN LOVE. We really are partners: in love, in parenting, and in life. We are each other's true supporters and we love strong!
That night we made a conscious out loud decision that we were no longer going to be "victims" of our situation. What were we going to do differently than we had in the past? How were we going to take a step towards what we wanted? We decided if we were going to make a move it was going to be a big one.
We prayed, we asked God and the Universe, to guide us and show us a way to create our life. We didn't know the "hows" but knew it would be shown to us. We asked for trust so big that we would have the courage to take big moves. By big, I mean the boldest single scariest thing we had decided to do, to date. (and I've given birth multiple times without medication) It was great though, it was going to be an adventure. We were going to do it together and how empowering was that? We were going to pack up our 3 children and we were going to move out. We were going to put our house up for rent, or for sale, and we were even thinking of giving it back to the bank.
Can you imagine us, "Yes, um Hi, we no longer want this house. You can have it back."
The Bagley Farm Home held space for us and allowed our dreams to grow. Whatever we created in this bubble could be nurtured and anything was possible because doubt, "reality", and logic didn't exist. It was so real for us that we could feel it. We could see it. In every part of our being, we lived it as if it were here. We built it this way and that way. We talked about the amount of work a garden would be but the rewards would be greater. We talked about how our kids would grow up and we would tell them we got married by the pond.
We would show them where we danced under the sun and stars. We'd pull out our wedding pictures and show them where they were taken. On anniversaries we would drink champagne on a bench in front of the pond- we'd toast to another year in love. The holidays would be held at our home because we would make sure to take that into account when building the family and dining room. The shop was large enough for Babe to work his business out of. Within this sacred space, love and dreams grew so big they poured into our conscious life and gave us the courage to ask for what we wanted.
To ask, to believe, and to receive.
Our someday Bagley house stopped being someday.We wanted it now. It was settled, tomorrow we would post our home for rent or for sale. We would think of a plan. We could probably stay with a parent for a little while...
The next day our talk was still fresh but for whatever reason, I hadn't posted anything about our home. Then, scrolling through Facebook I saw a friend reply to her friend's post. I knew of her and her husband who I thought graduated with Babe. She was asking for help. Their house had sold and they were looking for a house within two weeks to rent for maybe 6 months. I took a screenshot of this and sent it to Adam with a text of "hey, do you think we can move out within 2 weeks?". I didn't think it even sent before he was calling me. First off, he rarely checks his phone at work because like I said he is a hard worker.
Babe: "Yes, call them up and tell them yes"...
me: "Haha. Funny"
Babe: "No, seriously. Do it, message her. This is it"
me: "Ok. Where will we go?"
Babe: "We will figure it out. Just tell them yes"
Babe: "I have to go. message her"
Hmmm. Ok, yeah sure, sure I'll totally message her. It's cool, we have 3 kids, 2 weeks to move out, and nowhere to go but that sounds doable. Considering it takes me a week just to get the kids in the car to run a 5-minute errand, this didn't sound too impossible. Done, messaging her. Note: this is a lot of sarcasm, a lot of truth, and ultimately what I did.
I messaged C and said I had seen her post and our house was newly open to renting (which was true because we decided that 12 hours ago) She was thrilled. We made plans to have them do a walkthrough of the house. I believe we messaged on and off throughout the day and then she just said: "I'm going to say yes, I know we haven't seen it but one time I stood in your doorway and I remember it being cute- my style". I totally fell for her. A girl after my own heart! They did indeed come over with their kiddos and do a walkthrough. It was settled, they loved it, they wanted to rent! We had a 2-week window to pack and move.
I think eventually with the exchange of messages C asked us what our plans were. I was honest...
"We don't know. We are kinda riding on the universe right now".
She thought that was so cool, that I was so laid back, I go where the wind blows. Phhh, she didn't really know that I'd struggled my whole life with a false sense of control/OCD/gotta have a plan paralyzing kind of a thing. But I guess in this experience I was becoming a new person. Come to find out they were brave too! They had put their home on the market and expected it to take time to sell. Wrong- offers came in right away! They had 2 weeks to move out. In only the way Divine can work, our paths met and we each gave the other a piece in their journey. They gave us the means to get up and leave and we gave them a home in between homes.
With two weeks until move out day what did we do, where did we go, and what happened after? You can about that in The Bagley Dream- Part 3 here!