Lessons on keeping it super simple when overthinking anything and everything.
Sometimes I like to make things so difficult by overthinking that I drive myself crazy! Here is my journey to starting this blog. By the way, after this post, I AM launching the blog. I AM done with the procrastination of perfectionism. I AM my only obstacle at this point. My whole "why" of creating a blog is for the creative outlet it provides. I want to have a visual that tells my story so that I can look back, reflect, and see my growth. To actually be an inspiration to myself and others. To get "unstuck" and to help others in their journey and their growth! So without further delay- my story.
Heres the story all about how, my life got flipped turned upside down....or maybe that was the Fresh Prince's story, mine is sorta not similar at all.
Two years ago I was so excited to start the blogger journey.
I had three people in one day tell me "you should start a blog." I was like "hey self, is that a sign? You just said you wanted to start a blog." I congratulated myself on seeing the sign and celebrated by purchasing a domain and hosting it for three years. I WAS ambitious. I wrote my first blog entry in my note app of my iPhone. I was on cloud nine after sending it to my friend L. She sent me this awesomely funny response to the tune of "DO IT, we need more boss babes telling their stories". She has this really great blog that has transformed over the years and I AM always looking out for what she posts next. Naturally, that got me even more jazzed.
Looking, researching, and dreaming somehow lead me down my natural path of becoming overwhelmed and discouraged. You see, with the passing of time and more information, it gave birth to doubt and perfectionism. So instead of the possibility for growth, I only saw it as the need to be perfect. Most people see perfectionism as an external problem. This needs to be perfect- what will they think? My struggle is mostly internal. In the case of this blog it was I WANT it to look a certain way. Where is my perfect template? Is my writing reflecting exactly how I FEEL? Why are my words falling short when penned? Why do they flow beautifully and organically in my head only to fall to a rambling on paper? So on and so on and so on. I decided I needed a break.
That break lasted a year.
Why? Because that is the way of perfectionism. IT STIFLES you. It stops you dead and steals your joy. I had spent the last year learning the art of letting go. I could feel my old ways shedding away. With renewed hope for myself and my blog, I set out to find what the blog world calls templates, frames, and themes. I decided I couldn't settle for any free ones so I ordered one complete with all the fancy extras. I picked out a name. Take-Off from a business I just let go of.
OK, this is it. Totally set. Installed by the profesh all I need to do is write, right? Wrong, soon after putting up a few unpublished blog posts, it didn't feel right anymore. What didn't feel right anymore? The name? The website? My about page? What am I going through, an identity crisis? Every time I went on the blog I COULD NOT move forward. I was still trying to fit the new me into my old life so to speak. I switched my name. Nope. I tried learning more about the theme so I could customize it. NOPE. I changed my about page, I changed the pictures, I changed my focus. None of it helped. I had invested time and money into this set up I couldn't just let it go. Or could I?
Fast forward with a few more deaths and rebirths. These are literally the cycles of life, the moon, the feminine energy. We will talk more about these on the blog. You could call them realizations and letting go. I AM rebirthing. I have birthed a new domain, new host, and new blog and it's going up now. Cheers for knowing when to hold um and knowing when to fold um and knowing when it's time to begin again.